WesternEye caught up with existing and disappearing representatives of the university’s societies to bring you a primer on politics at UWE.
– Conservative Future
The society has ceased to exist in the current academic year. “Faced with legal action by Somerset’s pig farmers, we have decided to withdraw from the UWE,” stated the group’s press officer, Thomas Winchester.
After a brief stint at UWE during 2013-14 academic year, the society is now defunct. This follows recent allegations of attempting to coerce Bulgarians and Romanians into accepting a year of Erasmus abroad. “Preferably somewhere far,” said Jonathan Chowdhury, a hopeful UKIP member, whilst cycling away from WesternEye reporters.
– UWE Green Party
Despite desperate efforts of St. Paul’s organic farmers, the Green Party failed to make gains in Bristol West constituency, but retains a permanent base at UWE.
“I want to be able to grow without fear,” said Shaun in Stokes Croft – the student preferred not to disclose his real name, in fear of a forced return to Hertfordshire.
– Revolutionary Socialism Society / Socialist Workers Party / Popular Socialist Workers Party / Student Committee for Socialist Workers / Popular Student Committee for Socialist Workers – General Command / Revolutionary Populist Party
Due to overly capitalist process of registering a society with the UWESU, the 17 members representing various socialist groups collectively retreated to the Kebele Social Centre, Hamilton House and nostalgic Marxist literature.
“We will back, comrade” said Nick Maguire, finishing off his monologue about neo-liberal and white privileged economy by exposing a Che Guevara tattoo on his left ear.
The society remained grey, as Corbyn failed to rally comrades at UWE. “I wanted to get involved this year, but Pryzm had this really great night on,” said a 1st year Criminology student at UWE, Samantha Smith.
Further five members of 2014-15 Labour society remain missing after a social in February, 2015. UWE security team declined to comment, citing fears for the safety of their families.
By Ben Gerdziunas